[twitter]I get in silly arguments with my “fur mommy” friends all the time.

“Dogs are not people” sums up the length of any argument I throw their way as they head out to buy more ridiculous paraphernalia, campaign for more dog parks in the community, or sigh over yet another slideshow of cute animal overload.

But, if you stop and pause and stare at an infant long enough, you can be convinced that, yes, babies are just like dogs.

1. You can teach them to do tricks
(Zacharie’s is giggling when you say “gee gee”)

2. You can take them for walks
As with dogs, be sure to whisper “walkies” when around a baby, but mostly because they’re sleeping and you’re just trying to multitask and get some fresh air while they’re out

3. They like mushy liver, peas and potatoes
I think they do this so that adults are tempted, even a little to try any baby or dog food.

4. They can roll over

5. They can play dead
Babies are especially good at this in the middle of the night when they fall into a deep sleep, and no matter how close you get to them you can’t hear them breathe

6. They communicate in a language only they understand
Eventually, the way dog owners claim to understand differing degrees of “woof!”, parents get the differing degrees of babbles and screams

7. They go to the bathroom wherever and whenever they feel like it
I don’t think dog owners take pictures of it for Facebook and Instagram though

8. They drool everywhere and chew on everything

9. When you meet other parents at the park, they’re simply “Johnny’s Dad” or “Rover’s Dad”
Dog parents get introduced when the dogs sniff each other. Parents introduced on the playground usually because of throwing rocks.

10. You can easily spend way too much money on things they don’t need
Food and water and a blanket. Maybe a chew toy. That’s it. Love doesn’t cost a thing people, that’s what dogs and babies need the most.

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  1. Pingback: Kids, They Bring You Beer | DadCAMP

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