How many kids will you have?

For the Duggars, it’s 19 (and counting). For Jon and Kate, it was 8. For Nadya Suleman it was 14. One guy was recently tossed in jail for being behind on his child support. He was up to 23. With 14 different women.

We all have our limit on how many kids we want, for me it is 2.

Today, I had the snip.

The decision to get a vasectomy can cause some men to shrink away, but as one female friend so eloquently put: “at least you aren’t going to bleed for a month after and leak milk every two hours.”

And that’s why I stepped up to get cut. Two is enough for us. We’ve had long talks about our boys and whether or not a girl would be great to mix in. Sure, it would be nice to have an Amelie come to live with us, but it’s only 50/50 that would happen and something strange happens when you go for 3 – you’re outnumbered.

I’ve had some friends end up with pleasant surprises 5 years later and we just decided that was something we didn’t want to experience – so I made the appointment.

I went to see Dr. Crouse at Intramed Clinics in Calgary for the no scalpel vasectomy. Something should be added to the discussion: just because there isn’t a scalpel doesnt mean there aren’t scissors. There is still cutting, there is still some pain, but the freezing is done by a quick snap to the skin instead of a needle and feels like an elastic band popping.

After that it’s all a little bizarre. You know when you go to the dentist and you kinda feel something dull going on but it doesn’t really hurt? It’s like that – but on your twig and berries.

There’s a little tug from deep in your groin as the vas is pulled through a tiny hole and snipped. There is the smell of burning flesh as the open ends are cauterized and then it’s all done again on the other side.

My freezing didn’t quite take and I needed a second snap of numbing to get through the right side snip, but it was all over in less than 20 minutes.

You can actually watch the whole procedure online as Dr. Crouse has a video of his technique.

I won’t be ‘officially’ sterile for 3 more months. That’s when I need to do a test to make sure the vas didnt reattach and the snip stuck. Vasectomies are permanent, but they are reversible as well. Dr Crouse recommends if you have any remote thoughts of future children you do some “babysitting in a bottle” where for a couple hundred bucks you can keep some swimmers on ice for later.

I was referred to Dr. Crouse via Twitter, of all places. ManiacalMom was the one who recommended him and I will chime in. He’s a no nonsense guy who offers clear and clean explanations without getting all medical. “Sack” and “balls” are words he uses to describe the procedure in a friendly and unintimidating language all guys can relate to. The procedure is covered by your medical insurance save for a $100 user fee.

Was it easy? Sure – but the anesthetic hasn’t worn off yet.

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