It’s done. Over. Finished. Bearding has jumped the shark.
To twist Yogi Bera‘s, “No one goes there nowadays, it’s too crowded” quote, there are too many beards, so everyone is shaving theirs.
Even if you’re not a trend chasing hipster, it’s time to give up the ghost, here are all the reasons it’s time to shave your beard, and how you need to do it:
1. Summer Is Coming
Beards are hot, son. You don’t need a face sweater in the summer heat. And if you shave it now, as opposed to 3 months from now, you won’t have a goofy beard tan line on your face.
2. Bearding Ain’t Easy
People think growing a beard is an easy, let it go lifestyle. But as you can see with the littany of bearding products hitting the market as the trend rose over the past few years, it takes work to have a beard. From oils, to trims, to balms, to combs, it takes time – and money – to have your beard be on point. So lose it.
3. Your Hockey Team Isn’t In The Playoffs
No Canadian teams made the playoffs this year. You don’t need the beard to keep the superstitious support for your team going. They’ve already lost, it’s okay to shave it.
4. Beards Are Dirty
From leftover chip crumbs to drops of beer or mustard, beards are collect random things like the underside of your couch. Like poop. Seriously. But hey, you could always use the yeast you find in there to make beer.
5. Look Younger
I’ll admit. I felt envy when I saw my younger lumberjacked colleagues parading around the office with their pointy virile beards. I could have grown one, but I chose not too.
I didn’t get on the trend of the past 3 years because it hit when I was of an age where every hair on my body seems to have a 50/50 chance of coming in grey and, well, the manly man beard of a hipster isn’t as hip when it’s grey. I’m in my mid 40s, yet with a clean shaven face, I look like this guy’s younger brother.
6. Clean-Shaven Men Are Sexier
Two years ago, when we were in peak beard, surveys were conducted showing bearded men and clean shaven men and women chose the fresh face. Guys are growing them to appear masculine, virile, and more attractive, but mates prefer the opposite.
So shave your beard, my friends. It’s time. Here’s how:
25 DadCAMPers are going to WIN a Schick Hydro® 5 system and the opportunity to review it on Amazon.ca. Those reviewers (once links are sent to me to confirm) will then be entered in a draw to win a $100 Amazon.ca gift card!
Here are my first 25 winners:
Florence Cochrane, Amy Heffernan, Zvi Vaxman, Nikita Emtsov, Clifford Howard, Kristian Weavers
ivy pluchinsky, Warren Kalyn, Jonnie Hartling, Derek Spry, Anthony Cogswell, Jamie MacDonald, Andrea Amy, Bruce Farris, Kam Parbhakar, nick aloe, Melissa Finn, Paul Xu, Jean CLaude Brideau, Ali Zaheer, Brenda Penton, Tamara Mullen, Carol Markusa, Brenda Penton, Karla Sceviour
You’ll be receiving a Schick®’s Hydro® 5 system soon. Rate and review it on Amazon, and then send me your links to qualify for the $100 Amazon draw.
Schick®’s Hydro® 5 system hydrates your skin throughout each shave. The new Schick Hydro 5 system has an upgraded Hydrating Gel Reservoir which hydrates throughout each shave, a larger Guard Bar for increased skin stretch, and reduced Blade Span to minimize skin bulge which all help to get a smooth shave – all the while with the signature Flip Trimmer for hard-to-reach places.
Disclaimer: This program is only open to age of majority residents of Canada (excluding Quebec). To participate, you must have purchased an item on Amazon.ca within the last six months; otherwise, you will be unable to leave a review. All participants will receive a Schick Hydro® 5 system as featured in this post. Full contest rules and regulations are here.