Which is pretty much what a survey just said.

According to Pew Social Trends, 56% of fathers say they split household chores equally with their wives.  But 50% of mothers disagree, saying they definitely do more.

Yes, my wife does more around the house. I do the stuff outside of the house. I shop, I cook, I entertain the kids, my wife does laundry, dishes, and cleans. I enjoy my chores, she doesn’t enjoy hers, maybe that’s where the discrepancy comes in.

Then there was this other survey that said couples who split house work have “more frequent and satisfying sex.”

Would it, could it work? If I tilted the scale a little closer to equal could I reap a few rewards?

Introducing my marital aid, the Hoover SteamScrub™ 2-IN-1.

Could it really help me clean the house AND bring a smile to my (wife’s) face? It does say it’s 2-IN-1.

For the record, there are no mentions of increased marital happiness after using the Hoover SteamScrub™ 2-IN-1 in the manual. Instead the pamphlets focus on SteamStream™ Technology that can actually remove stubborn set-in stains.

(well, we do have a stubborn set-in routine)

The convenient Fast Heating Time feature, has you ready to clean in seconds.

(okay, slow down there, pal. I’d like this to last).

At only 8 lbs, the unit is both lightweight and easy to handle, allowing you to easily transport the unit from each room, and up & down stairs.

(well, I have lost some weight this summer)

I took it from room-to-room-to-room, from floors to upholstery. I marvelled at the selection of 12 tools and accessories to help you change things up. There’s a Tile & Grout Scrub Brush, Upholstery Cloth, Steam Connector Hose, Carpet Glider, and more.

(accessories always make things more interesting, don’t they?)

While my wife was running around with the children finishing up back-to-school shopping and picking out winter boots and coats, I steamed my way around the living room, kitchen, and bathroom. Just as I was turning the final corner, I heard the garage door open.

I rushed to greet them with a wink in my eye and a my handiwork waiting behind me.

“Your children are terrible,” she grumbled at me as she tossed me the purchases while our sons pouted up the freshly steamed stairs to their rooms for an evening without iPads as punishment.

I nodded suggestively at the shiny floors behind me, not even bothering to nod suggestively up the stairs to our bedroom at the same time.

“The house looks nice, thanks,” she quipped, making a bee-line for her office and a stack of paperwork she had been neglecting all weekend.

And there I was, alone in the front entry, holding a bag of coats in one hand, a Hoover SteamScrub^TM 2-IN-1 in the other.

These studies have neglected certain control variables, I think. Household chores are just one in a very long list of factors that nix the nookie when you’re married.

To quote every villain from The Scooby Doo Show ever; “I would have made it, if it weren’t for you meddling kids.”

Oh well, at least there is late afternoon football on. I just might eat my chips and salsa off the shiny floor.

This post is sponsored by Hoover