Boy Or A Girl?

This guest post is from smonkyou.

Everyone asks the obligatory question of what we want to have, a boy or girl. I think about 80% of the people care what the answer is. The other 20% want the answer to be ‘I don’t care as long as it’s healthy.’

In fact a couple I’ve have been chastised, and lectured about my answer when it wasn’t healthy. And that really pisses me off because that wasn’t the question. I’ve never been asked ‘would you rather have a healthy kid or would you rather pick the sex’ because that’s really what you’re asking if the answer should be healthy.

And let’s say the baby isn’t healthy. It’s still going to be a boy or girl, right? So shouldn’t I still be able to have a preference?

And as I said before I don’t really care as long as it snowboards.

So why am I writing this today? Because Staci weaseled here way into getting our ultrasound a week early.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit freaked out.

Staci made up a card that we gave to the nurse running the ultrasound. It had 2 boxes on it. One with boy after it, the other with girl. We told the nurse that instead of telling us what it was we’d like her to mark it on the card and put it in an envelope. Then Staci and I would go out for a nice lunch and open the card together and reveal the surprise.

Again our pre-kid was flipping around like crazy. We saw a good heartbeat (150 bpm) and the hearts 4 chambers looked great.

The head, abdomen, sacrum and all that stuff measured perfectly. We were able to see all it’s leg and arm bones, which was pretty cool.

Then came time for the nurse to find out what we were having. Staci and I closed our eyes while the nurse did her magic.

Smonk You's son/daughter
Smonk You's son/daughter

After 20 minutes she printed this picture out. It is of crossed legs. The pre-kid was in a position that made it tough to see what it was. To add to that it’s legs stayed crossed the whole time even though it was moving around.

The nurse couldn’t tell what it was. She couldn’t see a thing. The pre-kid was being modest. Not a bad thing if it’s a girl.

The irony is, the only thing we know right now is that it looks healthy. And that’s great.

Staci is really bummed. I’m actually kind of happy. From the start I didn’t need to know what we’re having. Plus Staci has a hard time with secrets. If she has one for me she’ll say ‘I got you a surprise, do you want to know what it is?’ And she doesn’t like when she knows I’m trying to surprise her. She always tries to guess what’s up. But when I do surprise her she is so happy that she glows. And I love it.

We’re talking things over right now. I think we should wait to be surprised. We’re doing a white bedroom and have some bright decals we’re putting up but nothing is gender specific. Plus the gear we’ve bought, stroller, car seat etc. is all gender neutral. I think Staci is on board. I think she’s getting excited about being surprised, but we’ll see how that all plays out.

About this author:
Kenny is married to Staci and lives with his dog Kalli (an American Dingo) and 2 cats; Random and Zoggs. He’s a dad-to-be, expecting his first at the end of January 2010. You can read more at


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  1. Darryl Wright September 17, 2009 at 11:22 am

    My fiance and I were really excited to know from the beginning and our only concern was whether or not we'd be allowed to find out. What really irritated me was the tongue-biting consternation among those who didn't 'agree' with us wanting to know. How bizarre? From the looks on some people's faces when we said we were going to find out, you'd think we just cloned a sheep. One person actually said, “but don't you want it to be a surprise?” News flash folks! – it's still a surprise!

    It's as much a surprise months early as it is months later – we didn't know then just as you don't know at the 9 month mark. We were as surprised and delighted as any parents who previously had no idea. Get it? The difference is… we can now prepare a little better before our daughter gets here, even if it's just psychologically.

  2. Kyler September 17, 2009 at 11:38 pm

    Well I guess it's easier to hold off on finding out the sex when it's one's first child and both you and your partner want at least one of each. At the same time though, one of the reasons some people don't agree with finding out early is because there are some people out there who are really hoping for one sex or the other and what do these parents-to-be do if they find out it's the other sex?

    Anyway, I enjoyed not finding out 'till the birth day, and I know it's a surprise whenever one finds out, but we ended up realizing that if we didn't wait, then there'd be no surprises left for the big day. If you think about Christmas or one's birthday, there's always people out there who like to touch, lift, and give the presents a little shake, just to see if they might get some ideas of what might be inside, but isn't it fun to stretch out the celebration and save at least one wrapped gift 'till the end of the party? As far as pregnancy goes, finding out the sex could be compared to finding out what's under the wrapping paper before it's time to open the presents.

    Finding out baby's sex is exciting at any point, no doubt, but I enjoyed relishing in the suspense and saving the big excitement for the bit day.

  3. DadCAMP September 18, 2009 at 12:35 am

    I had a friend say that discovering the gender of the baby is one of the true last “secrets” in our world. Think about it, we can google the answer to any question we have – except “what gender will my baby be?” (unless you believe that ancient chinese birth chart)

    That said. We found out ahead – both times.

  4. kenny eric friedman September 18, 2009 at 9:16 am

    When we were going to find out the sex we agreed that it is a surprise either way. And that's pretty much Staci's deal with surprises…she figures whether you get the info now, or 5 months from now it's the same.

    She mostly wanted to know because she hates secrets and she's a huge planner.

    Since I wrote the original posting she has come over to my side and is psyched about not learning the sex. Because like @dadcamp said it's the only thing you can't google…we know we're coming home with a baby but I think it will be cool to not know what we're getting.

    Funny you mention the Chinese astrology. I did 14 of those old wive's tale type tests. Answers were split 50/50. The Chinese one was boy.

    I also think it's weird that women feel like they know what the kid will be. Staci think's it's a boy, her friends all have differing opinions, but the funny thing is to them they aren't opinions. To them they are facts on what the baby is.

    I honestly have no thoughts on what it is. Thanks for reading and thanks for the comments.

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