I’m getting some feedback from my friends and family on a post I wrote earlier this week.
I told the story of our family came to be. My wife (then my girlfriend) got pregnant after we had known each other for just two months. We like to say that Zacharie chose us before we ever had a chance to really choose each other.
People were moved by the story, but at the same time their backs got up at one line:
If I were to be absolutely honest, my older son is my favorite child of the two. He and I are adventurous partners in crime, and I can’t imagine life without him. He was an accident waiting to happen, and I’m so glad it did.
– DadCAMP on Kid Scoop
“Love your honesty, as usual,” commented Shannon. “Although that ‘favorite kid’ part could hurt someone’s feelings one day!!”
Yes, I have a favorite son and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I’m guessing you could look deep in the mirror and admit you have a favorite too.
My choosing Zacharie as my favorite is not about ‘playing favorites,’ or ‘preferential treatment’ when I’m parenting. I don’t let Zacharie get away with anything because he’s my first pick, I just .. y’know .. like him better.
I’ve admitted that while I loved my sons the minute they were born, I didn’t really fall in love with them until they could do stuff. This is the video from the exact moment I fell in love with Zacharie. We were running and laughing and just being silly in a park. He was 26 months old.
Those first 2 years of life were not that exciting for me. My wife loved the babying of our boys, I was wanting them to run, and kick, and play.
From the moment Zacharie became old enough to ‘do stuff’, we have been out doing things: fishing, camping, hiking, flying kites, riding trains, going to parks. So while Z was old enough to get out and have fun, his younger brother was still in the baby stage.
When it comes to weekends when my wife and I divide the boys up to have an easier time running errands, I usually pick Z.
2 weeks ago, aware that I always pick the oldest, my wife suggested I take our youngest out for an adventure. I took Charlie out to see some horses at a show-jumping competition. There were marching bands, stables, yummy food, and lots of scenery. We had a great time, and I started to fall for him.
This weekend is my Dad’s 70th birthday party. We’re flying out to surprise him with a big fishing trip. I’ll be bringing Z while Charlie stays behind with my wife. The flights weren’t cheap, and while I’d love to have brought the whole family, it’s easier to go fishing with a 5 yr old than a 2 yr old.
I admit it, my oldest son is my favorite because he can do more things. To me, he’s more fun. I don’t loveeither of my sons any more than the other, but I do like them differently. I’d be willing to bet you’re the same.
Do you have a favorite child? Why?
**UPDATE** Before you comment, read this quote from author Jeffrey Kluger “95 percent of the parents in the world have a favorite child, and the other percent are lying.”
This is not about preferential treatment. This is not about giving treats to one and not the other. This is me writing about the moments of selfishness when I choose one son over the other because they’re ‘more fun.’
Kluger goes on to say “There’s some value of the parents’ code … never to speak of it.” Well aren’t I the worst parent in the world?