Whether you’re a parent, child, spouse or a sibling, your loved ones need care and nurturing.

You also need to care for yourself. In our infancy, we need help with the basics of life and these needs may come back as we age. Growing as a family takes a great deal of flexibility. There are healthy habits you can begin implementing today to ensure you are being the best version of yourself for you and your loved ones.

Celebrate Your Loved Ones as They Are

You may have a sibling who gets under your skin. However, within yourself, it’s important that you find a way to accept them as they are and celebrate the person they’re becoming. As you learn to accept them more, make sure you celebrate your growth as well.

When people in your family start to bug you, own your triggers. If you’re a neatnik and your brother is a mess, stay out of his room or at least away from him while he’s making a mess. If you’re a messy creative type and your brother is military neat, keep your door closed so it doesn’t become an issue.

Expecting others to change to suit you is not healthy. It also doesn’t work. Managing your response and not turning your happiness over to folks around you is the best way to avoid burning through blood pressure points in their company.

Get Out of Your Own Way

Once you start to recognize your own triggers, you may benefit from a conversation with a life coach. Becoming aware of how your own attitudes can contribute to your unhappiness is a first step in building a much healthier life. An intuitive life coach can help you own your life and happiness while helping you focus on building healthy relationships with yourself and those around you.

A life coach can also help you get rid of ideas that leave you stuck. You may have family who give you unsolicited advice, which is possibly the most toxic form of caring around. However, if you ask for advice or recommendations and then respond with a lot of, “Yes, but that wouldn’t work for me…” you may come to realize that you’e just adding more paint to keep yourself in the corner. A coach can help you get yourself unstuck by making you aware of your “yes, but…” trigger response.

Set Group Goals

Set goals as a family. Do you want to go on a particular camping trip? Make a gear list. What else do you need? If you’ve never gone camping before, put your tent out in the yard and take your ideas for a test drive.

Group goals are also easier when it comes to financing your trip. When considering your camping trip idea, maybe you need a bigger tent. Some family members may know where one can be borrowed, while others may start planning cheaper weekend fun so you can afford a new tent. No matter what, make sure that everyone understands your group goals and has a way to contribute.

Problem-Solve for Your Future

If you’re an elder in the household, your future plans may mean that you need help from your loved ones. While there’s nothing wrong with asking for help, be aware that your desire for independence can make you cranky. If you’ve ever had your day slowed by little ones who announce that they would rather do it themselves, you know that letting someone else be independent takes patience and a special grace.

Build your independence in privately. If you’re living in a house that is too big to maintain, find a community or a style of home that suits you better. Notify your family members of a desire to upgrade your life by downsizing your cleaning and maintenance labors and expenses. Present it as a problem solved, rather than an issue you need help with. Then plan your home sale and your move with your family’s help.

Create Your Legacy

You may want to leave riches behind, but life can get in the way of this goal. As possible, leave your legacy in service. Who learned to read on your lap? Who learned to fix cars as your tool assistant? Who learned to bake at your elbow?

The memories we leave behind for our family, from ABC and 123 to air filters and oil changes are the legacies that last. Even if your family has moved far away, do your best to present your family members with memories of your patience and kindness that they can treasure forever.

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