Admit It, You Have A Favorite Child. I Do.

I’m getting some feedback from my friends and family on a post I wrote earlier this week.

I told the story of our family came to be. My wife (then my girlfriend) got pregnant after we had known each other for just two months. We like to say that Zacharie chose us before we ever had a chance to really choose each other.

People were moved by the story, but at the same time their backs got up at one line:

If I were to be absolutely honest, my older son is my favorite child of the two. He and I are adventurous partners in crime, and I can’t imagine life without him. He was an accident waiting to happen, and I’m so glad it did.
DadCAMP on Kid Scoop

“Love your honesty, as usual,” commented Shannon. “Although that ‘favorite kid’ part could hurt someone’s feelings one day!!”

Yes, I have a favorite son and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I’m guessing you could look deep in the mirror and admit you have a favorite too….

READ THE REST OF THIS ARTICLE AT BABBLE.

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Buzz

Buzz Bishop is a Dad. Broadcaster. Writer from Calgary, Alberta. He is married to Jennifer and has 2 sons. Zacharie was born in 2007 and Charles in 2010.

10 Comments

  1. I commend you for admitting a favorite. Every parent has one and they would be lying if they said otherwise. This doesn’t mean that the parent doesn’t love the other children any less…it just means you have more in common and relate better with this “favorite” child.

    I would be willing to bet that the adverse comments were from parents, that when they were children, they were not the “favorite” one.

  2. I do believe that parents with more than one child do favor one over the other(s). That doesn’t mean you love that favored child more. The problem is most parents won’t admit this publicly, maybe they don’t even admit it to themselves.

  3. Thank you Buzz for sayin’ it!! Holy smokes, do these people need to settle down and get a grip on their own reality! Of course we love our kids equally and all that… blah blah blah. You know what? This week my son is my favorite! That right ladies! I definitely prefer the company of my 11 year old son over my 19 year old daughter! Any mother with a teenage daughter will fully understand what I’m talkin’ about! However, last week, when she wasn’t on a hunt for her inner b*tch, she was my favorite. Next week? Depends on my mood, their mood and the mood of the household. Any mother, with living children, goes through this and they’re lyin’ if they say different. I can’t imagine that my friends with kids and I are (and I include them all w/o exception) alone in this world. And thank you again Buzz for reminding us that Daddies are no different! Way to go for being the thought provoking writer that you are. You definitely provoked some words that are stickin’ in the craw of a few who just might be in denial.

  4. Buzz, I have four children very spread apart – 38, 33, 21 and 16. I think the faux pas you made was in using the word “favourite” because it triggered some nerve in people that got them riled. As a mother going on my 39th year in the role, the way I would put it is that you “get along” better with one than the other, or you “understand” and connect easier with one than the other. You said you don’t “do babies” very well. I’m the same way with 9 year olds. Give me a 9 year old (all four of them) and I want to give them back! – until they grow out of that phase. All were delightful as babies and toddlers, some quite enjoyable as teenagers and others just a pure headache in the teen phase. As another write remarked, I believe it ebbs and flows as time moves on and they grow up, but I can still see my relationships with certain of them “easier” and more connected than the others, even now.

  5. Clearly you know how to get press and stir the pot
    I think the bigger issue here is how your beautiful little family came to be. Be “honest” all you like about your favourite child. Just wait till it sinks in with your two boys that daddy conceived #1 while still married to someone else. That’s a far bigger issue than you and your flapping jaws about favourite kids.

    Two words of advice – Treat those little human projects of yours with the utmost care and TRY to resist the urge to type whatever pops into your head cause it sounds “awesome” (cue morning-zoo-radio-show sound fx here)… I’m sure all the years in radio make that notion difficult to execute.

  6. Hey Ian, despite the cynicism, this post was not created to ‘get press.’ Many people have written on this topic, mine just happen to have been the post that got caught in the machine. I’m not the first, I won’t be the last. This was a front page cover issue for Time just last October.

    Trust me, I’m very well-adjusted and my boys do not feel unloved. The extreme attacks from small-minded headline readers has blown this issue far beyond a reasonable discussion. Which is a shame.

    Parents having favorites shouldn’t be so taboo. Talking about it has made me aware of where my bias may lie and made me conscious to re-balance the scales. I hope the topic has helped others reflect on their own struggles with parenting.

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