things new parents don't need

Congratulations, you’re having a baby. Now before you and the missus go hog wild setting up the nursery and getting cribs built and paint colors chosen, sit down and actually think about what it is you need.

It’s a baby. That’s all.

Lots of people want you to believe you need a grocery list of accessories to get the job done, but babies are actually not very fussy and don’t require much. Trust me, I know.

Her are six things everyone will tell you that you need, but really don’t.

1. Diaper Genie – It’s basically a litter box for your kid’s bedroom that you don’t need. It’s VERY easy when you’re done to wrap it up and toss it in a garbage can in the bathroom or, if it’s ultra toxic waste, roll it out into the bin in the garage. It gets even better once they’re past the “tar” stage. You can roll out the clumps into the toilet and toss the rest of the diaper in any can – no smell.

2. Wipe Warmer – We keep the wipes in the top drawer of our change table, not in the fridge. They’re room temperature, just like everything else in the house – including your baby’s butt. Do you pre-warm your toilet paper? Wipes are baby toilet paper, room temperature is fine.

3. Diaper Bag – My wife’s soccer team pooled their money and got her a $200 Fleurville diaper bag. She used it twice, I never used it. A small knapsack with a couple changes of clothes, a Ziploc bag with wipes and cloths and a spare bottle was handy enough. No need for designer anything. You will need to do changes on the fly, so I’d suggest getting a Skip Hop Pronto. It’s compact, provides a clean change surface and a pocket to tuck wipes in. Get it in black, it’s manly looking and it’s all you need.

4. Peepee Teepee – Congratulations, it’s a boy! The business end of boys has a tendency to fire off at random times (usually coinciding with them being naked on a change table). The peepee teepee is a cone to put over their business so you don’t get hosed. A cloth works just as well.

5. Shoes – Our second son is 10 months old. He still doesn’t have shoes. Truth is, until kids can walk, they don’t need them. Oh, sure the ultra mini Nikes and Pumas are cute, but they’re just window dressing. Keep ‘em in socks until they start to stand and then get them in some Robeez. Until then, they’re usually bundled in blankets in the stroller or you’re at home and nobody will know the difference.

6. Clothes – Don’t go hog wild buying clothes for your new bundle. Everyone else will do this for you. Friends will toss hand-me-downs at you, grandparents (especially first timers) will spoil you with gifts. Colleagues, family friends and more will all come over to see the fresh baby and each and every one of them will bring an outfit.

The first six months are pretty easy. All they do is eat, sleep, poop and cry. You don’t need to be smothering them in gadgets and videos and blankets and stuffies. They’re babies. All they need is a full belly, a clean diaper and a good snuggle.

You’ll do just fine.

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